What is homesickness
The feeling of homesickness is an absurd, confusing experience because, in most cases, it was your choice. You worked hard to earn the grades for university, dreamt of this chapter of your life, and left home for good reasons. Still, while accepting this was the right decision, you catch yourself longing for the life you left behind. Not because you regret it, but because you miss the people, places, and routine that allowed you to feel safe and comfortable.
This feeling is commonly experienced by first-year university students. Moving away from home, leaving your family, your friends, and a routine that you have grown accustomed to is one of the biggest transitions you will go through. This can be uncomfortable while being a very normal reaction. This happens due to humans being wired to seek safety through environments that feel familiar, in this case, home. Home is predictable, offers emotional support, and provides a sense of identity; the loss of these can cause people to experience uncertainty, longing, and grief.
What is the cause of homesickness?
Research has shown that homesickness among first-year students is influenced by locus of control and social support. Students who had strong support from friends, family, and a new environment experienced less intense feelings of homesickness, while those who had less support struggled to adapt. The study also found that students with an internal locus of control, who believe they can manage the challenges they face, had less intense feelings of homesickness. This shows that homesickness can arise from feeling that you have no social or emotional support.
How does homesickness feel
The feeling of homesickness can refer to the distress or negative emotional state one experiences when away from home, dwelling on thoughts of home while simultaneously trying to create a new life. This reaction can arise due to triggers in everyday experiences, such as hearing a familiar song, smelling a specific scent, or tasting food that tastes like your home. These triggers don't have to lead to crying because you miss home or feel the urge to book a flight home, but they appear in random moments of the day, making everyday tasks feel a bit more emotionally difficult.
Homesickness can feel like loneliness, even when you are surrounded by people. It can appear as being emotional over small things, or as moving through your day with a lingering sadness you can't get rid of. For some people, homesickness is accompanied by feelings of guilt, guilt for leaving people behind, and the constant worry for people back home.
Homesickness can also affect your behaviour. You may catch yourself frequently having the urge to call or text home, or feeling unexpectedly emotional when you see photos of people or memories from home. It can be counting down the days until you're able to go back home, making daily tasks, such as joining social events or attending lectures, extremely difficult due to the emotional exhaustion of trying to adjust.
Feeling or behaving in many of these ways is a normal response and does not indicate a wrong decision. The feeling of homesickness should not be mistaken for regret, but allow you to recognise that you have left behind a home with people and places that matter deeply to you, while creating a new home that will allow you to feel another sense of belonging. One of the largest paradoxes of homesickness is the notion that you may not even be missing home as a physical place, but rather feeling grief/nostalgia for a part of your life that doesn't exist quite the same way, as you feel disconnected from where you once belonged.
How to deal with homesickness
Homesickness can be handled best through active coping using gradual steps rather than avoidance. Remember, you don't have to stop missing home to start enjoying your new environment.
For some students, staying in touch with loved ones back home can provide a sense of comfort, although if calling home often causes extreme sadness or guilt, that is normal as well. What works for some individuals may not apply to all.
This is why you may choose to send a picture from your day or a quick voice note. This allows you to avoid complete isolation while still allowing a healthy amount of communication.
Developing new friendships or joining social groups can allow the unfamiliar to feel familiar. This can start small, such as in sitting next ot someone in a lecture, saying yes to a plan, or approaching your flatmates for a coffee. In my experience, continuing the same routine I would have followed back home at university made the new place feel less unfamiliar. Even with simple things, drinking the same tea before bed, using the same perfume, and even cooking a similar breakfast.
Although isolating yourself and counting down the days till you go back home can be tempting, it's easier to focus on small, positive moments from each day to create more excitement for the new chapter. Some days will feel easier than others, especially as you start to build new routines and connections, but finding coping strategies that are beneficial for you will allow you to adjust and make everything feel less overwhelming.
Homesickness is natural, although if it affects your sleep, relationships, ability to concentrate, or your day-to-day life in any way, you can seek additional support. Opting into therapy can create a safe space, allowing you to explore your feelings and find coping strategies that work for you, making the transition feel more attainable. You can explore Journey's directory of therapists who specialise in Life Transitions.
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